new blog

new blog, here.

I got sick of the title of this one.

retail in melbourne

long time between posts.

I never feel like I have anything valuable or of interest to strangers to say, hence the lack of posting.

But, I'm quite frustrated with the state of shopping in Melbourne that I will start posting some reviews, retail reviews, if you will. stand by.

the trouble with window-shopping

The trouble with window - shopping is that the purpose is not to buy anything, it's purely to look. And shopping is about buying. These terms really need to be re-defined. Shopping is not trouble, everybody needs to shop for essential items etc. Window-shopping is trouble.

It's partly about having too much choice, it's also about being indecisive and it's also a combination of not wanting to waste money and energy on unnecessary items (things you wont wear, things you don't really like, things you already have 4 of) and also being so immersed in the world of buying and shopping and acquiring that is seems almost a right to be able to have whatever you want. Within reason. Sort of.

A typical internal dialogue usually goes something like this:

"gosh those sunglasses are cool...... might try them on..... *try on*.... hmm they look ok.... might need a second opinion "OK thanks very much I'll think about it" shopgirl hates me now for making her unlock all those cabinets..... if I buy these they could be my reward for [insert unpleasant activity]..... they're only $[exhorbitant sum]..... if I didn't buy that [other item currently awaiting second opinion] I could get them...."

a week later.... "hmm those shoes have finally come out.... i did say that when they came out i could buy a pair without guilt..... they are expensive though...... and where would I wear them..... and they are very high..... its a lot of money to spend on something you might not wear much..... but they are so awesome..... and everyone buys things they really shouldn't.... this can be my transgression"

and so on and so forth, switching from feeling bad about spending soooo much on something to feeling righteous about buying, because, dammit, I have a job and its MY money and I can spend it on whatever I like and I will NOT be judged. I especially wont be judged if I don't tell anyone.

It's overthinking. Over-thinking that leads to over-stressing and generally getting oneself all worked up over something you haven't even decided to do yet.

How do you let go? Allow yourself to spend, freely yet wisely? Or stop the nonsense, and not spend? Which way do you go? Can you strike a balance?

June Reward

The Saint James Naval II. Purchased after much indecision (buy online and wait? Go down the street and have immediately, for a slightly higher price?) from Maiike, on Church St Hawthorn. Good decision. I love it. It has started its life with me slightly stiff, but I can tell that with a wash or 2 it will soften up and be even more delicious.

Now, here is the tricky part. In a fit of anger I threw out my old sports bra. And bought a new one online, which arrived and didn't fit and was sent back and another one arrived, which all took about a week and a half. Then last week I went on 1 run (that was straight when the final bra arrived). Then this week I'm on track for 2 runs by end of today, and therefore well on schedule for 3 runs by end of week (which is Sunday, for those of you who are technical). Next Sunday is the 31st July, ending a week and the month in perfect synchronicity, and well primed to be another 3 run week.

So I would have completed half of half of my July challenge. The other half, to not eat any junk food that isn't home made, is going much better, in fact since 1st July I have only had 2 pineapple lollies, a tiny slice of sticky date cake for a 30th birthday at work, and a couple of small lamingtons at an opening at work. And a couple of red frogs at my cousins wedding. This may sound like I have not done a good job at all, but in actual fact this is UNBELIEVABLE progress. You see, normally, I could have eaten all those things and a lot more in one day, let alone 2.5 weeks. And the best, best thing is: I don't crave the stuff. I don't want it. I haven't even THOUGHT about a block of chocolate, and I was going through about 2 of those a week beforehand. I am not interested in lollies, or biscuits, or stuff like that. I have baked a LOT of choc chip cookies and 1 cake, but thats allowed, and I've enjoyed those VERY much.

The hardest part was trying to think of other foods to eat as snacks. I'm doing a nice line in yoghurt, dried apricots and sultanas, pappadums, and FRUIT believe it or not as my alternatives. I need to expand this a little to include perhaps some nuts and also bananas when they stop being astronomically priced, and think of a couple more options, but really, its amazing. I know I really only snack when I'm bored, so trying to remember that and then doing stuff instead of stopping for a snack is also key.

I also feel quite good. I don't feel sluggish, I don't have sugar highs and bad bad lows, and I don't just desperately wish I could teleport to the supermarket and get a packet of Retro Party Mix and a block of Lindt Crunchy Caramel all the time.

So mission accomplished, really. And my reward is going to be a nice, juicy book depository order, I think. There are a few other things I would like, but as I have not really 100% completed this challenge I think a smaller more economical reward is more suitable.

August's challenge looks like being a killer and I think the reward will be killer too - I'm looking at you, Miu Miu gold glitter pumps.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can highly recommend changing your life

in the last month, I have:

Quit my job.

Moved house.

Bought a car (my first car).

Started a new job.

I had only driven in the city before once. I have never had my own car before. I have not done a reverse parallel park since I passed my P's test (10 years ago). (I have since done one, shabbily and with 2 car spaces to mess it up in).

I loved where I worked but my 2 supervisors were hell. I now have a supervisor who is the exact opposite of where I came from. I work in an art museum. I've always wanted to work in an art museum. I have a sort of mini-office of my own. I don't have to wear a uniform anymore, although I did love wearing the uniform.

I moved from a house that made me anxious and nervous every time it rained or the wind blew hard. I slept lightly as every noise was a burglar, and was nervous when I wasnt there that someone would break in and steal stuff. It was so small. It was falling down. It didnt fit all our stuff in it, and we had little to no stuff. The bed had to go in the corner, and you sort of had to squash past the mantlepiece on the other side to get in. It was draughty and cold and there was nothing you could do about it. It was in a primo location.

The new house is spacious, and warm, and silent. The walls are white, I made the curtains myself, the kitchen has space for 2 people to stand in without getting in each others way. Our furniture, so used to being squeezed around, is now miniature. We have one whole excess room - filled with boxes. There is enough room on either side of the bed for whole other beds to fit in. Our landlord is REALLY nice. We have a courtyard with a mossy bench. And a laundry. There is enough room here for all the furniture I have at my parents house (2 armchairs, a table, an autotray, large bookshelf, and large paintings). We are getting a huge, L-shaped, spacious-enough-for-2-people-to-lie-on sofa bed couch. And we wont have to get rid of anything to fit it in. When I moved into the old house we had to leave the couches outside for 2 weeks until I sold them on ebay because they didn't fit down the tiny hallway.

We have a driveway (no more parking permits). We have a proper working heater. We have comfort, and space, and all our nice things out and around us.

When it started to dawn on me that all these things and my day to day life was going to change, all at once, into something I would not have considered possible previously, I was nervous. I'm always nervous about something. My friend said - good! get it all out of the way then you can just settle. And she was right. I've felt great the whole time- all the changes have been for the better, but just now I am starting to settle. Settle into the new workplace, the new job. The new house, the new lifestyle. The car, which now has its first scratch, not a novice anymore. It's hard to recognise when you're starting to settle into things, it can feel like somethings wrong, that you cant put your finger on, but just wait, it will pass, and you'll start to feel calmer.

I can highly recommend it.

style idol - hair edition

having only yesterday been the victim of a pretty-much-exactly-what-I-didn't-want haircut, I have a newfound obsession with The Perfect Hair. Which is:

But brunette. And yes, I know she must have stylists and hairstylists and advisors and assistants and all sorts of people to ensure her hair looks casual, yet chic, and shiny, and lovely at all times, but it still seems sort of achievable, y'know? I would also accept this:

Basically the same, but less.... pretty. Of course Heidi's hair looks good in all styles, hence she looks good in all styles, including full fringe and also updo.

My hair is about this length and I now have something resembling her fringe..... I cant see why this wouldnt work? Right? Right?

38 & 39

The Secret History I thought I was going to chuck in at about 30 pages. Then I got hooked, and spent the rest of the time feeling nervous and worried that I was wasting all this time READING when I was about to GET CAUGHT and any minute now I would be found out for the horrible thing me and my wierd friends did. Love a good visceral reaction to a book.

I didn't know the Murakami was short stories, but this was not a problem. Loved it.